French, Friends and Other Lessons

I awake to the sound of the city’s traffic. Its early hours of December 5th 2008, and scores of cars are zooming past Citoyënne Mobutu Avenue – I observe an assortment of vehicles large shiny American model SUVs, battered Japanese mini-buses, ram-shackles – I even spot a Hummer or two. Thirty minutes go by, but I continue standing at the bedroom window of a friend’s apartment – watching the world below me. Events of the last 48 hours have left me jobless and exhausted – so I am grateful to be rushing nowhere.
I see people purposefully walking up the street. I notice mothers hugging small girls as they drop them off at the school across the street. I watch this exchange for a while, and suddenly nostalgia and longing for my own girls descend upon me. Those hugs summarize a mothers’ dreams and desires for their daughter – and if I were to have a conversation with mine right now – I would offload lessons from the past 11 months, and so here goes:

World Citizenship
Learn another language. Learn to speak Portuguese, French, Spanish, Mandarin or whatever else you choose! It will never be a wasted effort. Language will enable you to navigate the world, visit exotic places and take up your place as a citizen of the world. (I wish I could go back to 1989 – I would take Ms Evans’s French lessons seriously – seriously I would); And besides a Spanish son-in-law sounds exotic!

The Common Touch
Always remember that anyone and everyone you encounter - the potter, the security guard in the parking lot, the waiter, the cleaner, the king of the castle – everyone is looking for validation ( I borrowed that from my friend Oprah Winfrey); - they want to know that they matter. Find a way to forge relationships with common folk and kings alike. Be interested in who they are as a human being – ask after their children, their fields, their dogs, their yacht – know their name. Better still if you speak their language - you will touch their heart and be unforgettable.
This does not mean everyone will warm up to you – that’s to be expected, it is the way of the world. Some will question your motives, whilst others will mistrust your colour – yet do not let such rejection blind you to what beauty there is in relating intimately to people. Let it be said of you “She can walk with Kings without losing the common touch!”

The odds are in your favour
If you never take any of my ramblings seriously, this is one point I could pay you to be attentive – it’s that important. Get an education! Girl, I cannot emphasize that enough – get an education. Get a college degree – in whatever, but get an education! (But just so you know – I prayed for an Atomic Physicist!) An education will afford you independence, you will pay your own way, you will travel. You will sit in bars with educated blocks – and in the process, better your prospects of marrying well – get an education! You have inherited decent genes – your fathers’ brains, your mothers’ tenacity – the odds are in your favour.

Boundaries
You are, no doubt, a pretty being – a combination of your looks, your wit, your humour – your sharp brain, will no doubt attract a lot of admirers, friends, suitors – it’s a fact of your life. But you my girl you want to preserve your sanity, your soul, your beauty – set boundaries.
You want to have a fun life ( after all this is it – no rehearsals) – so dance, party – if you will – but remember to pay your own way, and keep your clothes on – class ain’t cheap!
So my dear, honour your life with boundaries that show you are your father’s daughter (he is a good man!); boundaries that incorporate my ramblings, boundaries that honour the religion of your grandfather.

Resident Bastards
Guaranteed, every station in life has its resident bastards. They are the liars, the bigots, the racists, the chauvinistic pigs – that you are sure to encounter. They come in the person of your school teacher, that refuses to see your potential, the college boy that wants to outstrip you of your dignity by claiming “If you love me you will……..”. You will encounter the bastard in your boss who has issues with the combination of your colour, gender and brains. Your job dear girl, is to identify and demystify these lowly un-evolved beings at each station of your life; And find a way to outwit them. Remember your father’s teaching – You are a smart, talented, gifted and beautiful child of God and no bastard can change that.


Friends
Lastly my dear girl, when life hits you below the loins (as it sure will); the world market plays up and your contract comes to a premature end – you want to have an Ida who will give you keys to her apartment, so you do not end up in the streets of a foreign land. You get it – you want to make real friends wherever you go!

A bientôt!